Aimee Turns 2

Today marks two years since my precious, tiny, bff, came into my world. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!!!

She has taught me so much about patience, something I wish I had when my older kids were this age. Being a mommy is magical. I thank God for blessing me with my precious children constantly. I wouldn't trade my life with my babies for anything in the world. They are my heart and soul, my reason for being.

Hope you have a happy birthday sweet baby <3 Mommy loves you SO much.

Go Cry Official Music Video

Ashley Holiday is a girl I met on here.  The lyrics of her song touched my heart. I know a lot of you can relate. She is super talented. She sent me a copy of her song and I posted it a while back. Here is the official music video. YOU GO GIRL!!!

The truth about broken heart

A Mothers Pain

How can someone claim to love their child, yet cause them so much pain? I see my kids hurting and it breaks my heart. Yet, there are some who go out of their way to hurt the innocent children that THEY brought into this world. Its sickening. It breaks me to see the pain that my kids go through at the hands of their 'father'. All this man does is cause them pain.

Once again, he has crushed Dylan. Alexis could care less about the loser. She's a tough lil cookie. But after the great day that Dylan had, with his teacher emailing me to tell me how great he's doing, his sperm doner went and completely ruined his day, crushing his heart.

There is nothing I can do to stop him from hurting and it kills me. All I can do is hold him and promise him that I will always be here for him. But it kills me to see him hurt. How can his own 'FATHER' hurt his flesh and blood this way? How can he just not care about the pain that he causes these kids? What kind of a human being would do this kind of thing? 

All I know is that I will always be here to pick up the pieces. My kids are my heart, my world, my soul. When they hurt, I hurt. So, if that is what he was aiming to do, mission accomplished. I just can not wait for the day he pays for all of the pain and suffering that he has caused.

One day, the hurt will subside and be replaced by resentment and hate. Its sad that they will never have a real dad. It breaks my heart. But they will ALWAYS have me.

A Song For All of the DeadBeats Out There......

A letter to my daughter, Aimee

Once upon a time, long ago, there was a beautiful girl. Everyone loved her. She was sweet, caring, funny, and lots of fun. 

She lived with her family, who also adored her. She was her siblings best friends and had so many other friends. Everyone that met this girl seemed to fall in love with her almost immediately. 

As the girl grew up, she made many new friends and was adored by many. One day, when she was just 19 years old, something happened. God had decided that he needed a new angel in Heaven but it had to be just the right one. One that was loving and caring and always put others before herself. God chose this girl. 

Her family was very sad but they knew that she was in Heaven with God so she was safe. They just missed her so. They cried for a long time. Until they realized that God had a purpose for this beautiful angel. 

Her purpose was to watch over her family on Earth. As the years went by, she had nieces and nephews. Amy adored kids. She always made sure to watch over them the most. 

This angels name was Amy. Mommy's sister and YOUR aunt. When you were born, you were so beautiful and special that we decided to name you after your aunt Amy. That is why your name is Aimee :) 

I know that your aunt Amy is so proud of you when she watches down over you and your brother, sister, and cousins. And she will ALWAYS be there watching over you and loving you,through good times and bad, no matter what. 

You are a very lucky girl to have such a caring and loving angel to look after you. And we are all so lucky to have YOU in our lives <3

 

 

 

 

Motherhood

What is motherhood?  Every mom will give a different description of the hardest, most painful, most rewarding, and by far, most important job they will ever have in life.

Below is what motherhood means to me.

Motherhood is love.  It is joy and pain at its highest, most intense level.  It is learning to deal with loving another person more then your own life. Someone once said that having children is like having your heart walking outside of your body. This is the closest description that I have ever heard.

For those of you that do not have children, you have no idea what a parents love feels like. Nieces and nephews don't count. Of course you can adore any child, but unless you are that child's caretaker 24/7, day in and day out, it is just not the same. The patience needed to care for a rambunctious toddler, or a smart mouthed pre teen is intense. Some days you can feel pushed to the limit.

Motherhood is patience. Its taking a deep breath and counting to ten. Or twelve, maybe fifty, depending on the situation, before simply losing it. And not all mothers are biological. There are so many incredible people out there who take on other peoples children.... grandparents, step-parents, adoptive parents... all of whom deserve EVEN MORE respect, because they are doing this incredibly hard, incredibly important job, not because they are obligated to but out of the love in their heart.


Motherhood is understanding. Understanding that everyone makes mistakes. We, as mothers, are not perfect. So, obviously a child cannot be perfect either. But in the eyes of a mother, her babies ARE perfect. They are our own personal miracle, given to us by God, and we often wonder how we were ever so lucky to have these perfect little people as part of our lives.

Motherhood is putting the well being and happiness of another before our own. Its sacrifice and struggling without so much as a second thought. Because to a mom, nothing is more important that seeing their perfect little loves happy.

Its so many emotions wrapped into one. But the strongest of those emotions is pure, unconditional love. A love so fierce that most mothers would risk their lives for their child's safety  and wellbeing.

A mothers love means everything to a child. No matter how many mistakes you may have made... no matter how badly you feel as though you've failed, in your kids eyes, YOU are perfect. A child doesn't see our most obvious faults. They love unconditionally.

Words can not even begin to describe the love that I feel for my babies but I thank God for them every day and pray every night that I will be the best mom that I can be for these little people that depend on me with their lives <3

Jahi, safely out of Children's...now what?

Ok, so I have not heard much about Jahi McMath lately, but something that I did catch on the news last night, as I walked by, disturbed me a little bit. Apparently, the body of Jahi McMath is in 'bad condition'.  This is so sad.

From the beginning, I have supported the McMath family. I figured that they needed time to come to terms with the death of the child.  I was glad they got to have Christmas with poor Jahi's body.  The key word here is BODY.  Jahi has been dead since December 9th.  Over a month now!!!!

I believe that it is time to let this poor child rest in peace. My heart goes out to her family. I can not imagine, nor do I want to imagine, what its like to lose a child. But at this point, they need to come to terms that the child is gone.

No one has EVER recovered from brain death. It is now, in my opinion, borderline abuse of a corpse.  I pray for this family and hope they find the strength to let this child rest in peace.

Another child left brain dead after routine procedure

This time its a 3 year old little girl from Hawaii. Finley Boyle was taken to the dentist to have some fillings and root canals done in December. She died yesterday. She was left severely brain damaged after her family alleges she was giving improper doses of medication. She went into cardiac arrest during the procedure.

As a parent, this is terrifying.  How are we to trust our babies in the hands of medical professionals after hearing of two children that never came home after simple, routine procedures? How does this happen? 

I can tell you that after hearing these horror stories, none of my children will be undergoing any elective surgeries. What a nightmare it must be to trust your child in the hands of a certified medical professional, only to never see them alive again. 

The Boyle family clams that Finley was given the medication that ultimately killed her, and was then left alone for 26 minutes. They are now, understandably, suing the dentist for medical malpractice.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/04/justice/hawaii-girl-dead/

Jahi McMath Update

Children's Hospital in Oakland agreed on Friday to allow the body of Jahi to be moved by ambulance to another facility.  Her mother has agreed to be responsible for anything that may happen to her 13 year old daughter, including cardiac arrest, during the moving process.

The tracheotomy and feeding tube that are needed, however, will not be administered by or at Children's Hospital before the move, and no word on where, exactly, she is being moved to.

This must come as a huge relief to the McMath family, as their January 7th deadline quickly approaches. So far, this is the only new news that I have heard. I will keep you all posted on any new developments.

Joys of Motherhood

I just finished scrubbing my floor again. Second time in three days. And, I can guarantee that by bedtime, any trace of cleanliness will be long gone.

If you have never had a white tile floor, you're lucky.  If you've never had white tile floors with children, count your blessings!!!!  The massive amounts of toys wouldn't bother me so much if my floor would just stay clean for more then five minutes!!!  But with my three, plus their friends, running in and out all day, eating all over the house, Aimee pouring juice all over every time I turn away, keeping this place in even somewhat of a normal state has been close to impossible!!! 

But, I'm sticking to my resolutions, so far. There is no soda in my house, no junk food, and its clean and organized 😁 Go ME!!!  The positive attitude was the first step needed in order to achieve the rest. Still have a ways to go but starting 2014 on a good note <3.

And the drama continues...

As the clock continues to tick closer to January 7th, the McMath family continues to plead with Children's Hospital of Oakland to keep Jahi on life support, although six different doctors and a judge have declared her legally dead. Let me be very clear when I say that I believe that this family is in serious denial, shock, pain, and mourning. They do not want to accept that the 13 year old is gone after a 'routine' surgery (some reports claim that it was not, in fact, that 'routine' of a surgery and was actually a complicated combination of three different surgeries). Either way, it should not have killed the girl.

This is where the situation turns murky. The family, along with their attorney, have been speaking to the media from day one, voicing their disappointment with the hospital. And who can blame them?  How can you expect a mother to trust the same doctors that cost her the life of her child?  However the hospital has been unable to comment due to hipaa privacy laws. The hospital has asked the family for permission to comment on the sad case, but the family has refused to let them speak out. This has many people wondering why?

To add to the drama, the families attorney (a well known personal injury lawyer out of Oakland who has taken on the case for free.... surprise surprise), is claiming that the hospital first told them that they could bring in an outside physician to insert a tracheotomy, and a feeding tube that must be done before she can be air lifted to another facility, but is now refusing to allow an independent doctor from using Children's facility and staff. The hospital is adamant that Jahi is dead and that it is unethical for anesthesia to be administered to a deceased person.

Also in question is the New Beginnings facility in New York, run by a hairdresser, that claims it could provide Jahi with outpatient treatment. The facility is not licensed and upon first review, did not even have any licensed medical workers on staff. Children's Hospital claims that no facility has come forward saying that it is willing to accept Jahi's body. I think its worth mentioning that Children's Hospital has an outstanding reputation and is among the top 10 hospitals, nationwide.

Reading Internet blogs late last night made me sick, with people blaming the grieving mother for this tragedy and even the poor child herself, due to her weight. It makes me sick how many heartless people there are in this world. Obviously, a malpractice lawsuit was going to come of this. A 13 year old is dead after a surgery that was only supposed to require an overnight hospital stay. Calling the family greedy and gold-diggers is WRONG!!  These people have lost a child. Anyone would sue in this situation.  And while its clear the family is in denial, can you blame them?  Especially that poor mother that blames herself because her child told her that she didn't want to have the surgery for fear that she wouldn't wake up?

It is beyond clear to me that no amount of money could ease this families heartbreak. They are not in this for the money!!!  The fact that I have to make that statement makes me SICK. Anyone that has lost a loved one knows that no amount of money in the world is sufficient when you lose a person that you love. Especially a child. And to blame the family and especially the child is appalling.

This is a tragic, heartbreaking situation. Jahi is gone, her family refuses to accept it, which has caused a whirlwind of finger pointing and drama. My concern is that putting off an autopsy could possibly hinder important findings and it needs to be known what exactly went wrong to cost this child her life.

I will continue following this story and will keep you updated. Please pray for this grieving family. Pray for them to have the strength they need to accept the fact that Jahi is no longer with us, and maybe donating her still working organs to another family, so that a part of Jahi can live on and save another childs life, before it is too late and her organs shut down.  As of now, that seems to be the only thing that will make the McMath family accept that Jahi is gone. They say that as long as her heart is beating, they will fight on....I only hope that Jahi's grieving family never reads some of the cruel things that I came across online last night.



http://www.mercurynews.com/california/ci_24812585/jahi-mcmath-mom-and-lawyer-say-only-remaining

http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/QA-Jahi-McMaths-Brain-Death-Ignites-Difficult-Debate-238360221.html