mistakes

Everybody makes mistakes. That is a fact that most of us have come to terms with. We forgive mistakes made by our loved ones regularly.  Most mistakes being simple and of little consequence, are simply forgotten. Like taking out the garbage on trash night. Or forgetting to get their favorite ice cream while grocery shopping..... Simple mistakes made every day by just about all of us.

Then there are bigger mistakes. Mistakes that can tear apart marriages, sever families, and shatter a childs innocence. Mistakes like cheating on your spouse, losing a job that you need to support your family, gambling away your families savings.... the list is endless. Its these mistakes that are so much harder to forgive. We wonder why we should consider the perpetrators feelings, when they obviously didn't consider ours. Pain, disappointment, and simple revenge take over. That's how we're wired, after all. 

Suddenly, after a 'big' mistake, all of the persons 'simple' mistakes seem major all in themselves. Like the husband who gets caught cheating.  Well, no wonder he forgot to take out the trash... he was too busy worrying about someone else.  And the ice cream?  Well he was probably too distracted talking to HER. 

This is what ruins marriages, what severs family ties and ultimately hurts the most innocent of them all; our children.

I've put together a list of things that I believe can help after a 'major' mistake has come out.  If you have recently made a mistake that could alter your future, or even if you know someone who has made a mistake, these tips, while not always easy, can help save a family or friendship.

• Always be honest when confronted. Chances are, the person asking already knows the truth and is just waiting to hear it from you. And as painful as it may be, dealing with the pain is far easier then dealing with the rage of being lied to after the fact.

• As hard as it may be, try and remember why you love this person. I know its hard amen you're in the moment and really just want to hurt them.  But if possible, try and realize that you will most likely end up regretting the pin you cause out of spite later.

• REMEMBER... EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. We are all human. Try and think of the last time YOU made a mistake and were forgiving.

•. If you are the maker of the mistake, give people time.  As much as thru need. Realize that you have cause unnecessary pain to people who care about you and give them time. While doing this, lay low. Don't go out drinking and posting Facebook updates from bars. If you really want to be forgiving, act like it. 

If you're lucky and have people that love you, this too shall pass.