New Year, New You?

Here we are, on the eve of yet another new year. As tradition goes, we all make resolutions to better ourselves in the coming year. Some of us make the same resolution every single year!!  We have the usual; lose weight, quit smoking, exercise more, get organized, stop screwing our boss..... the list of empty resolutions is endless.  A lot of times, we break them before February, and that's stretching it!!!  It leaves us feeling low and a lot of times, completely throwing in the towel. The mentality is, hell, I already broke my resolutions, why stop now?  Better luck next year.

Here are a few tips that I have to help keep those resolutions. Face it, achieving a goal feels good and can lead you to set higher goals. First, be realistic. Its one thing to say 'I'm gonna lose weight this year' and expecting to go from a size 14 to a 6.  Keep your goals realistic. Results are never instantaneous.  Second, if you fall off the bandwagon, don't make that the end!!  So you cave and buy a pack of smokes.  Then you figure, well I just paid $7 for these, it would be silly to waste them. Before you know it you're smoking two packs a day again.  Another broken resolution.  Instead, if you do break down and buy that $7 pack of smokes, think of it this way. Once the guilt kicks in, instead of feeling like you've already failed, so why not go all the way, think of the HUNDREDS of dollars you'd save if you stuck to your resolution. Screw it, toss that $7 pack of smokes AWAY!!!  Third, don't compare yourselves to others. Everyone likes to make themselves look like they have it all under control, checking in at the gym daily and posting photos of beautiful, healthy meals they've made for their perfect families. Remember that when it comes to social media, even the hottest mess could look like they have it all under control. People put up only what they want you to see. And thankfully so.  Who wants to go onto Facebook to read about how miserable your life is??  I know everyone has that one person on their list that loves to throw pity parties. And isn't it the most annoying thing ever??  Luckily, most of us don't post all of our woe as me's for the world to know about. Don't compare yourself to everyone else's perfect life because guess what..... their lives are not perfect.

As for myself, I've made a list of goals that I hope to achieve.  Not necessarily all in the next year. But making them goals instead of resolutions seems easier to tackle. Wishing you all a happy, healthy new year filled with family, friends and love 🎆🎆🎆

Jahi McMath

 

Jahi McMath is a thirteen year old girl.  I'm sure you've all heard of her by now.  On December 9, 2013, she went in for a routine tonsillectomy surgery. Shorty after, she began bleeding from the mouth and nose. She ended up going into cardiac arrest and was ultimately declared brain dead.

So begins the saga of the McMath nightmare. First, there's the fact that the young girl had made ominous comments claiming that she didn't want the surgery because she was afraid that she 'wouldn't wake up'. I can not imagine the guilt this family feels when they remember those prophetic words. The family, ridden by grief and guilt, during a season of celebration and joy, refuse to accept that the child is dead. So far, the girl has escaped her death sentence, with the family going to court and filing motions to keep the doctors that cost the child her life, from taking her off of life support. The first order gave them until after Christmas. Today, at 5:00 pm (8:00pm ET) Jahi was to be disconnected from the machines that are keeping her blood flowing, her heart beating, and her body warm to the touch. All things that her mother says proves her baby is alive, despite countless tests pointing to the contrary. She claims that Jahi moves and responds to her voice. Doctors claim that this is a normal reaction when a person is on life support and is not a sign of life.

The court has given the family until January 7, 2014 at 5:00pm to either find another facility willing to take Jahi in, or removing her from life support.  The debate here has become whether it is the hospital or the parent that should decide when a child is to be removed from the machines that are giving them life.  Imagine someone telling you the exact day and time that your baby will be taken from you. After all, this is a mother that whole heartedly believes her daughter is still alive.

This story is so tragic. How do you tell a mother that her baby is dead after a routine procedure?  I was one of the people that prayed that they would keep little Jahi on life support until after the holiday. I prayed for a Christmas miracle. Unfortunately, one never came. Being an outsider, I clearly understand that Jahi has passed. As a grieving family member, clinging to any and all hope, I'm not sure I'd see it the same way, however.

I'm not sure what the outcome is going to be here but one thing is certain, this poor family has got a long, hard road ahead of them. They are currently raising money to have Jahi moved to a different facility (no word yet if one will even accept her). If you want to help, you can find them on GoFundMe.com.   I will see if I can find a link to it.

What do you think should happen here?  Who should have the final say on when Jahi is taken off of life support? 

Please pray for this family and hold your babies close.

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/12/30/family-california-teen-declared-brain-dead-says-ny-facility-is-last-last-hope/

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/jahi-mcmath-could-be-removed-from-life-support-despite-familys-wishes/2013/12/30/41f122f4-7191-11e3-8def-a33011492df2_story.html

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/12/29/22095281-jahi-mcmath-new-york-facility-is-last-hope-for-girl-declared-brain-dead-family-say?lite

http://www.gofundme.com/Jahi-Mcmath

mistakes

Everybody makes mistakes. That is a fact that most of us have come to terms with. We forgive mistakes made by our loved ones regularly.  Most mistakes being simple and of little consequence, are simply forgotten. Like taking out the garbage on trash night. Or forgetting to get their favorite ice cream while grocery shopping..... Simple mistakes made every day by just about all of us.

Then there are bigger mistakes. Mistakes that can tear apart marriages, sever families, and shatter a childs innocence. Mistakes like cheating on your spouse, losing a job that you need to support your family, gambling away your families savings.... the list is endless. Its these mistakes that are so much harder to forgive. We wonder why we should consider the perpetrators feelings, when they obviously didn't consider ours. Pain, disappointment, and simple revenge take over. That's how we're wired, after all. 

Suddenly, after a 'big' mistake, all of the persons 'simple' mistakes seem major all in themselves. Like the husband who gets caught cheating.  Well, no wonder he forgot to take out the trash... he was too busy worrying about someone else.  And the ice cream?  Well he was probably too distracted talking to HER. 

This is what ruins marriages, what severs family ties and ultimately hurts the most innocent of them all; our children.

I've put together a list of things that I believe can help after a 'major' mistake has come out.  If you have recently made a mistake that could alter your future, or even if you know someone who has made a mistake, these tips, while not always easy, can help save a family or friendship.

• Always be honest when confronted. Chances are, the person asking already knows the truth and is just waiting to hear it from you. And as painful as it may be, dealing with the pain is far easier then dealing with the rage of being lied to after the fact.

• As hard as it may be, try and remember why you love this person. I know its hard amen you're in the moment and really just want to hurt them.  But if possible, try and realize that you will most likely end up regretting the pin you cause out of spite later.

• REMEMBER... EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. We are all human. Try and think of the last time YOU made a mistake and were forgiving.

•. If you are the maker of the mistake, give people time.  As much as thru need. Realize that you have cause unnecessary pain to people who care about you and give them time. While doing this, lay low. Don't go out drinking and posting Facebook updates from bars. If you really want to be forgiving, act like it. 

If you're lucky and have people that love you, this too shall pass.

lonely......

How is it possible to be surrounded by people and still feel lonely? How can you have beautiful, loving children and still feel lonely? This is a hard question to a person living it.
I am a single mom. I have the greatest kids in the world. I count my blessings daily.  Yet, I crave the closeness of an adult. Someone to lay next to at night and tell about my day. Someone to laugh with and just be with.
I can't tell people that I'm lonely.  They look at me like I'm a horrible mother. But the truth is that I spend all of my time with my kids. I wouldn't trade that for the world. But once the kids are in bed, I crave adult companionship.
I remember when I had that. I was so happy. I thought that was what life was supposed to be like. I've given up hope for normalcy, however. To me, my normal is my kids. They make me happy. They make me smile. They give me a reason to live. But there is still that emptiness inside that feels like it will never be filled.
I refuse to allow it to consume me and I will not seek to fill it with empty relationships.  I believe that one day, I will find happiness. I will find my prince charming that wants to be with me. Until then, I will enjoy my time with my babies, who grow more and more every day. I will cherish every moment that I have with them and I will swallow the lump in my throat and fight on. Because what else can I do?