The Sanctity of Marriage
Years ago, marriage was a sacred sacrament. Divorce was not an easy way out. The concept of a divorce was often looked down upon. Somewhere along the way, the commitment and bond created in marriage became unimportant. Divorce became the norm. Most marriages these days end in divorce, usually before reaching their seventh year. When did this start? When did people stop believing that making a promise in God’s name was something that should be sacred and protected? Too often people choose to give up and walk away as soon as things start to get hard. The fact is that with or without the person that you promised to love and stand by for the rest of your days, life will always have its ups and downs. Walking away may seem like the easiest thing to do at that moment. But is that love? Real love doesn’t end. It doesn’t just stop or go away. When love is real, it is permanent. It happens in stages. New love is exciting and fun. It is easy to think you are in love when you are just getting to know someone. After time, emotions level out and you become comfortable with one another. This is when often times, people realize that what they believed to be love was actually just physical attraction, friendship, or simply just fun. It is sad that the institution of marriage has become something that can so easily be disposed of.
Love is a complicated thing. Saying ‘I love you’ is such an easy thing to say to someone. Anyone can say simple words. The complicated part is proving that love. How do you prove to someone that you love them? In fact, how do people even know for sure that what they are feeling is really love? Many times it is actually lust, excitement or just simply the idea of being in love. New love is easy. Showing someone what they truly mean to you is something that takes time and effort.
So what is true love? In my opinion, true love is knowing someone, inside and out. Knowing that no one is perfect, but loving them despite their flaws or imperfections. It is standing by that person, through good times and bad. It is being a friend, not just a lover. Someone that you can share all of your secrets with, your hopes and dreams, your goals, your fears. It is wanting only happiness for that person, despite what that happiness may do to you. When you love someone, that person becomes more important to you then anything else in your life. The lucky ones make it through the hard stage in relationships, when the excitement wears off and reality sets in. Life happens, money issues begin, simple disagreements happen. It could be anything these days that separates the unity of a marriage.
After separating from my husband of over a decade, I never thought to look for love again. It can be devastating to watch all of that time invested in a person just vanish. I am just now starting to believe that real love does exist. I know that no relationship is ever easy. Anytime you are close to a person, regardless of whom it may be, there are bound to be disagreements, arguments and rough times. It is the way that you handle those issues that makes the difference and determines the outcome of a relationship.
To make a relationship work, it is important to always remember why you fell in love with that person in the first place. You have to be best friends, share the same goals and want only the best for each other. It is imperative that you stand by your loved one in times of hardships. Too often it becomes a blame game. Love turns to resentment. Words are used as weapons that leave wounds that do not heal. True love is forgiveness, understanding, patience and caring. It is wanting the person that you care about to be happy. Showing them that you will always be there for them, regardless of the opinions or advice of people on the outside of the relationship. It is knowing one another’s fears and doing your best to protect them. Taking the time to show, without words, how much you care. Being on their side at all times, regardless of the situation. When you are in a relationship, the only way to make it successful is to show that you care, not only when you need to, but every day. Not just by words but through actions. It’s never saying hurtful words that can not be taken back. Loyalty and trust are two of the main aspects of true love. Not wanting to hurt the person that you love….never betraying that love. Never putting another person, or allowing another person to come between you and your partner.
I am once again starting to believe in love. I think that it is possible. It’s not easy, not always fun, complicated and painful at times, but nothing is more powerful. Nothing is more rewarding. I want real love. I want someone that can be my lover, my best friend, my biggest ally, the reason I rush home, the person I trust with everything that I hold dear. Wanting to be with that person always and missing them when they are not around. It’s doing little things to remind them that you care about them. Not keeping secrets, because if you are with your best friend, the only secrets that you should have should be the ones that you share with each other. It’s knowing that no matter how hard times may get, you will always be there to hold that persons hand, to listen to them, to assure them that everything will be okay and that they are not alone. Most importantly, it is meaning all of those things.
Love is not always easy. Many people never even get to experience true love. The ones that do are the ones that make it. True love is never walking away. It is patience and understanding. It is putting someone else’s wants, needs, and feelings before your own. And while it may not be easy, nothing is more beautiful then two people who fight for their love. Two people who are a team, a team that no one could come between. It is going to bed every night knowing that no matter what tomorrow brings, you have someone by your side that would do anything to protect you.
Love is the most powerful emotion a human being can feel. It is beautiful, scary, painful, exciting, pure, and should always be unconditional. If you are lucky enough to find that person that loves you, and that you love, then it is worth fighting for. It is worth the pain. It is the road to ever lasting happiness.
